Resident Evil: Afterlife.......why oh why (Early Reviews)

Last night went with the flatmates to see RE: Afterlife, oh lets get this correct Resident Evil: Afterlife 3D!!!! my verdict...Utter Rubbish...there review done.........

 Ok I'll do it properly.....my main problem with this film is the story...it has none and it's so predictable. At one point I thought I was watching a travel programme and expecting a over voice to go "if you decide to splash out on a airplane flight you will see breathtaking views" rolls eyes, and then came my biggest problem with the film Bloody Matrix stunts, hate it. Ok when the Matrix came out it was refreshing and then came all those Hollywood films and every scene had a Matrix slow motion fight scene and then thank god it sort of died down, BUT NO in RE: Afterlife it's back and evey scene it's slow motion matrix clone fighting. I sat there going "I'm really bored now, is this Resident Evil or am'I watching a Matrix remake with zombies", It just made the film seem soooo slow and unintresting. 

As for the umbrella villain black outfit with black shades and slick back hair.....how original, I got told that's how he looked in the series but his mannerisms and even the way he moved and even smirked was exactly like the Matrix's Agent Smith. I thought they would be more creative, although I did enjoy the bad ass big dude from RE 5, but alas that ended with me going "what the........" He get's shot god knows how many times and still walks get's blasted by Alice's shotgun and keeps moving, I was like hell yeah, and then suddenly when Alice fires the gun it dies so easily, even though the gun was fired before by Claire and it floored him but he still got up to kick ass......cliche!!!. 

As for the 3D what 3D!!!! it was just put there to make the film more expensive for us the movie goers, seeing the ridiculous prices we have to pay for a 3D film. They say by doing it it cracks down on piracy...no it doesn't cos I've seen a bright spark put 3D glasses over the camera's lens and film the film perfectly, so thier argument is flawed!!! it a quick way to rip off the movie fans, using below standard 3D effect which are very few or far between and looked really amateurish and cheap. At one point I took my 3D glasses of to see if the film was actually in 3D it was but you could watch it with out the 3d glasses cos they did nothing to enhance the 3D experience, and if they were going for the Avatar route they failed on a epic scale.

The ending was so predictable and had me rolling my eyes, as if we didn't see that was going to happen. The Resident Evil fans may love this film and that's their point of view and I respect that, but for me I felt it was just a pointless cash in on a series that should of died out years ago...as it brings nothing new to the series and makes it look tired and dated. Please stop making every film in 3D, no wonder piracy is increasing who want's to pay the rip off prices to see a crap film??

There done so until next time.......enjoy and at the end of the day it's only a movie...which ripped me off..grumble grumble 

Teenagers, a plane, high altitude, a monster....what's this A COMIC BOOK!!!!! (Early Reviews)

When my eyes saw the DVD cover it rang a little bell in my head..."hummm this looks familiar" why did it look familiar??? then the penny dropped I'd seen the trailer for it some months ago and I thought it looked interesting. So I rented the DVD with expectations of a Lovecraftian horror, OK it was one of those films that go direct to video but from the trailer it looked promising.

When my eyes saw the DVD cover it rang a little bell in my head..."hummm this looks familiar" why did it look familiar??? then the penny dropped I'd seen the trailer for it some months ago and I thought it looked interesting. So I rented the DVD with expectations of a Lovecraftian horror, OK it was one of those films that go direct to video but from the trailer it looked promising. - See more at: http://www.fearnet.com/community/members/markrdi/blog/teenagers-plane-high-altitude-monsterwhats-comic-book#sthash.teB42MAk.dpuf

This film reminded me of Stephen King's “The Mist” a strange occurrence happens and you see small glimpses of something in your peripheral vision....(I hold my hand up I did like the film “The Mist” I know a lot of people hated it esp the ending.....I thought it makes a change to have a negative ending than the typical cheesy “happy ending” which films have too much off.) Anyway I digress the acting in the film is good, and has a tasty woman too look at..plenty of tension and internal conflicts between the characters most noticeably Cory and Sal.

 The visual effect where good at times but sometimes they did have an amateurish look about it. So I sat their enjoying the film, thinking this is quite interesting and enjoyable. My mind was thinking what is this creature?? is it the hypothetical non-winged organism which Alien conspiracy theorists believe live in the atmosphere of planets and are known as Atmospheric beasts!!!! Now that's a new take on an Alien film I thought...but sadly my imagination was abruptly shattered by a ripped page of a comic book......yep from the moment Bruce opens the torn page of the comic book the film take a nose dive into the realms of “WTF”......”you have to be kidding me”......”how can you ruin the film”!!! It turns out that this “Monster” is a manifestation of Bruce's subconsciousness and mind and everything is scripted out exactly the same from the comic book he was holding.....*rolls eyes* Now I got bored....I half expected Freddy Kruger to make an appearance, from this point to the end the film, it just lost the plot and became this ridiculous time travelling/change history crap. It came across as if the script writer either got bored or run out of ideas, which is a shame as the film started of so well.

Verdict: Starts of well until roughly the last 30-20mins of the film and the WTF factor kicks in. Good acting, promising story has a lot of un-answered questions. The visual effect are good but sometimes appear amateurish, all in all and OK film until the last few minutes where it becomes a crapfest. Which is a real shame.

Room 237......more like a Pile of Conspiracy Faeces

*stares at the TV screen………..dribble slowly escaping my mouth to form a paddling pool of saliva on the floor* My god!!!! What the hell have I just watched……..in fact wasted 1hr and 38 mins on????

The Documentary on the theories behind Stanley Kubrick’s “The Shining”……..Room 237………Let’s get things clear I personally dislike Kubrick’s vision of “The Shining” and have always found it to be over hyped for what it is. On the plus side he did manage to capture the feeling of isolation and claustrophobia of being isolated in an out of season hotel. I digress back to Room 237 – I just could not believe my ears the amount of crap that was being dribbled forward, I do like a good conspiracy theory or a film urban myth, but this was………..how can I put it……….out there with the fairies!

There are films out there which are very ambiguous in there meaning and different people take different theories and ideological means of what the film is trying to portray; an example of this is the 2009 Lars von Trier film “Antichrist”.  However, in Room 237 the “fanatical” fans are trying to find “secret” meaning to the film, is this justification of trying to make an overhyped film into something more meaningful and insightful?? I’ll give an example…..there is a type writer with an eagle on it…….oh it’s due the holocaust and Nazi Germany……..all this from a type writer?? My personal favourite was some woman who is totally convinced that a poster of a skier is actually………*cue drum roll*………..”A Minotaur”……..I kid you not. The man in the poster isn’t a man “wink wink” *conspiracy eye winks*……I looked and looked and as she started pointing out what she saw………..all I saw was a skier not a fucking Minotaur!! Was she on drugs??

Well if it’s not a man skiing well fuck knows what it is……and it’s certainly not a bloody Minotaur!

They point out that a chair disappears in one scene……it was there before but when we cut back it’s GONE!!!! Yeah it’s a little thing called “continuity error” all films have them……but in Kubrick’s “The Shining” it’s a secret message………urrrrrr no it’s an error. Another example of this is the scene when Danny is playing and a ball rolls to him and in the next scene he’s changed position so the carpet is at odds with the scene before………gasp it’s another “wink wink” secret message………….again it just a continuity error and perhaps the different angle gave a better shot visually, so there may have been justification for it.

Normally when something bores me or irritates me I turn it off……but for Room 237 I had to find out what other daft theories where out there……..the number 42 popped up a few times and that was again linked to Nazi Germany *roll eyes*..... Well…… all I can say if you like out there with the fairies film theories this will be right up your street, me on the other hand see it as a desperate attempted to make a film in my personal opinion “a film that is confusing due to the way it’s edited, a film that strays away from its source material that it removes the key points of the book……and it’s boring” into something with more depth and secrets from what I said above……….

I think I need a lay down and a hot drink just to clear my head……….then again there may be a secret meaning in what I had just said.